Because without clearing this hurdle, there is no path forward.

What is the Why?

Why should I produce content in a space already so oversaturated? What value can I possibly offer that hasn’t been previously articulated, likely by someone with more clout and credentials than me?

But then, Why Not? If for no other reason than to keep my own head from exploding with ideas and questions and movement and rhythms, then it must be of some value.

Value.

In this late-stage Capitalist society that raised me. Surely there must be something else that I could do that would hold more worth than this? Producing more content that may or may not be consumed, that may or may not move another into a better state of consciousness, if only briefly. But it is in the act of doing, no?

What is the Why?

When I think about goals for healing, I cannot help but observe that the ultimate goal is to render my work obsolete. Which means I must believe that to be possible, and I am not so sure.

Is the human experience possible without pain? Without anger? Without guilt? Without shame? Are these emotions not part of our full existence, as much discomfort as they provide? Envy? Hate? Rage? The goal cannot be to eliminate these feelings, these experiences, but perhaps to improve upon how we respond to them.

So I can aspire to facilitate some sort of relationship between people and their emotions, but only if I find my own way through. And, for me, that way is through movement. So, for all of my years striving against selfishness, against ego, against the spotlight, I find myself here - needing to produce some kind of content with the goal of validating my existence in this vast sea of humanity.

For neither recognition nor fame, but simply because I don’t think I can live with myself if I don’t.

Like a tree falling in the forest, because I can.